


Aftermath

by brawler



Category: Grand Theft Auto IV, Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:46:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawler/pseuds/brawler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They can try again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> finally posted the shitting [final part of that gem AU i was working on](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4603527)
> 
>  
> 
> [(said gem AU on tumblr)](http://kennethhutchinson.tumblr.com/tagged/gem-AU)

Dessie was one of the first to arrive at Maisonette, early bird patrons waiting outside or otherwise. After making sure the complex was up and running with the rest of the present employees, ready for the night’s coming crowd, he took his usual place at the front of the building, standing idly by the door as the clubgoers began to arrive. 

The place was quiet, but it usually was during weekdays. It didn’t have to deal with the rush of people looking to get wasted off their faces and forget about the humdrum events of the week passed. The patrons were all people who could afford to stay up past 12AM; college graduates, night shift workers, free-spirited kids who just moved out of their parents’ homes and didn’t have any bedtimes to speak of. 

Tony arrived about half an hour later. He was dressed in a trademark suit, looking sharp as ever, but his expression was weary from the moment he got out of the car to the moment he sat down at the back of the club with a glass of gin and tonic. He didn’t want to be there. He’d rather be at home in bed or in a 3 hour bath with bubbles up to his neck, but he needed to set things right with Luis, and he had no idea if he’d return to the apartment or go back to his own once his shift finished that morning. He couldn’t wait around and find out either, this was something he needed to do as soon as he possibly could. 

Tony knew Luis’ shift began at 10 - call it manager’s leniency or perhaps just plain favouritism on Tony’s behalf to give Luis shorter shifts than everyone else - which was an hour after Dessie’s had started. Tony made sure to get to the club early to catch Luis beforehand, but in the event he decided to reside in his office once the excited chatter and the thumping music got too loud, he told Dessie of his plan, which he’d then pass onto Luis whenever he arrived. The noise did eventually get too intense for Tony’s liking, smarting enough to be grounding within the surprisingly warm haze that came with Tony’s increasing tipsiness. He pushed past the crowd, visiting the bar to refill his glass before he headed to his office, shutting the door behind him. He slumped down into the chair at the desk and planted his elbow on the armrest, pressing a hand to his forehead and taking a sip of his drink every now and then as he thought about all the things he would say to Luis once he finally saw him. Well, it was things he _could_ say rather than things he _would_ say. He didn’t know where to begin. Where could he begin? Through the fog that was comprised of a couple fruity cocktails and half a bottle of gin now clouding his mind, he wondered what he’d start off with. He went over everything in his head, from a catty comment about how loud the group of prep boys hanging around the bar were, to a small, simple “sorry”. It was a touchy subject. He didn’t know whether or not he should try to break the ice or get straight to the point. He knew Luis would be annoyed with him - hell, probably _angry_ with him - and he hadn’t talked to him since he’d agreed to try and fuse. It made Tony think about the possibility that Luis was disappointed in him, too. It made him feel worse. It meant he’d breached Luis’ comfortability. His trust. It was a horrible feeling. He didn’t know if he’d even be able to reconcile with him at all. 

As he continued to ponder he felt his stomach sink with more worry as each minute ticked by. He was apprehensive, he still hadn’t any idea of what he could say to him. He didn’t want to screw it up any further than he already had. Though through all the trepidation, at the back of his mind sat the thought that Luis would understand him regardless of what he said. Tony knew Luis was patient - at least with him - and even though Tony felt he wasn’t deserving of it at all, he definitely appreciated it, much more than he could ever express. Tony had a habit of screwing things up, sometimes out of his own recklessness, sometimes out of sheer misfortune, and despite everything, Luis is always there to help correct his mistakes. It’s more than he could’ve ever wanted, really. Tony’s never had that before, no one ever stuck around long enough to see things through. As soon as the proverbial hit the fan they always upped and left, his friends, even lovers, as if abandoning a pet they’d suddenly grown too tired of caring for. Luis never did that. Luis stuck around no matter what. Even though it stressed him out, and even though it got pretty overwhelming sometimes, he always remained by Tony’s side. Tony had a hard time believing his luck.

The click of the door’s handle broke Tony’s train of thought. He jerked up from his stupor, staring at Luis as he entered the room. He shut the door behind him and turned to Tony with an almost blank expression, if not for jaded eyes. Tony knew that look all too well. He’d seen it on his own face as well as Luis’ time and time again. Luis didn’t want to be here either, yet here he was. Here they were.

“Luis…” Tony breathed, rising from his chair slowly as his mind raced to form the words. “Luis, I’m… I’m glad you came!”

“I didn’t really have a choice.” Luis said, his expression suddenly hardening as he folded his arms. “Dessie told me you were in here. He said you were in tears. Said that to give me extra incentive, I guess.”

“Look… Look, I know you’re angry at me, but please let me explain myself, I get… I get carried away sometimes, I get-”

“‘Carried away’ doesn’t even begin to cover it, Tony.” Luis stepped forwards, his arms dropping to his sides. “Quartz attacked Dessie. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t us. That was you.”

Tony went to say something but stopped before the first syllable could slide off his tongue. He avoided Luis’ gaze for a moment, looking to the floor instead. “I know.” His voice was hushed. Luis could barely hear it over the music outside. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to defuse. I couldn’t, I… It felt too good. It felt great. I didn’t want it to stop. I’m sorry.”

“I lost myself, Tony. I could feel it. Consumed by whatever the fuck Quartz was. Because of you.”

“I know and I’m sorry! But you don’t know what it’s like Luis, you’ve never had to deal with what I do. You’ll never feel what I feel! What it feels like to be fused with someone who’s… everything you wished you were.”

Luis’ face softened but before he could speak, Tony continued. 

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. Any of it. I never fucking do. Like everything else I always screw it up! It’s just… It’s just when we fused, I…” Tony held his palm up. His gem shimmered under the light overhead, shades of purple, pink, green and blue dancing around the diamond facet as he tilted his hand. “I felt what it’s like to be you. I felt what it’s like to be strong and brave and stony, and confident… I felt what it’s like to be confident!” The smile on his face lasted only seconds. “I didn’t want it to end. I was a part of something great, I was a part of you. Quartz overwhelmed me. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for us to lose our individuality, I didn’t mean to attack Dessie, I didn’t mean for there to be a fight! It just happened. I’m sorry, Luis. To you and Dessie both. I’m sorry for everything.”

Luis took a moment to turn away, looking at the floor to briefly avoid Tony’s staring eyes, now welling with tears.

“Tony…” Luis said, moving closer to place his hands on Tony’s shoulders. Tony almost jerked from his touch. “I’m not… I’m not angry at you. Okay? I’m not. I’m just… Shaken up by the whole thing. It scared me. I know you didn’t mean it, but it scared me. I can’t blame you for something you couldn’t control.” Tony’s face eased. “I talked to Dessie before I came in. He mentioned you fused with him a while ago and that he had to pry himself from you when it started to get too much. I said us fusing might’ve been different because… because we’re together, y’know? He said you would’ve reacted differently to me than to him. He just wasn’t sure how. But it was a risk he was willing to take for us.”

Tony smirked at how cheesy that sounded. “I’m sorry, Lou. I don’t want you to go through that ever again. We should’ve never tried.”

“We won’t.” Luis spoke reassuringly, moving one of his hands to cup Tony’s cheek. “We’ll work on it. We’re not just gonna let it slide and forget about it, alright? It might take a while, but we’ll get there. I wanna fuse with you again but... not like that.” Tony paused for a few moments then nodded. Luis broke away from him. “Look, I gotta start work. I’ll see you in a few hours, alright?”

“Alright.”

Luis headed to the door after placing a kiss on Tony’s forehead. Tony returned to his desk, sunk back into his chair and smiled to himself, relieved at how well their exchange had gone. Every situation he’d played out in his head prior was immediately shunned to the back of his mind and he thought about how ridiculous it was, how much he’d gotten himself worked up about something that wasn’t a problem to begin with. He knew Luis was going to be kind to him, understanding, he always was. But then again, his life was a series of unfortunate hit and misses. Paranoia and over thinking was the norm for him, but the relief that came with knowing that at least one disaster he thought was going to unfold in a mess of shouting and tears didn’t was almost overwhelming. 

He looked forwards to the hours to come.


End file.
